Today I decided to wake up happy.

Let me re-phrase that. I woke up and decided I would be happy today. I’m not. Not entirely. But I’m sure as hell going to put the effort in to get there. And the effort? It’s not as hard as it sounds. It’s just a decision I made when I got out of bed. I kissed my wife a little longer and held her a little tighter. And for the rest of the day I’m going to deal with whatever life throws at me and spin it away if isn’t good for me. Maybe I have to spin it in a way that just lets me find a positive or maybe I just let it go. Whichever or whatever way it goes down? I’m going to choose happy.

My youngest had a little meltdown this morning and instead of falling into frustration or anger and yelling at her. I just told her I wasn’t going to deal with it today. I’ve had the same discussion with her repeatedly lately it seems and she still breaks down into these tantrums the second something doesn’t go her way. I wonder if she reads my own stress levels and how I’ve been dealing with things and this is her way of coping. If it is, it’s on me to change for her, so she figures out how to deal with herself. Firm, but straight forward. No yelling. Not today. Preferably not again, but we both know that’s not going to be the case. Some things can’t disappear forever. But we can work at them one situation at a time until we get it right. Right?

It’s been a rough week professionally for me and it just added to some other shit that’s been going on in my head and levelling me. But today I stand up straight and I smile and I figure today out. I’m going I win today.

I haven’t wrote in quite awhile. My goal was one blog every two weeks as my minimum requirement. I haven’t hit it. It’s not that I haven’t had thoughts to write about or time to write. They just haven’t gone together the way I would like them too and to be honest…some of my thoughts to write about just won’t come out the way I want them to because I just don’t know enough about them. I wanted to write during the election, (I’m happy with the outcome, if you care to know.) but I don’t trust my knowledge of the process and the platforms enough to feel confident enough to throw my views out to the world.

I can say this : I like that I can look at the guy running my country and see myself in him. He’s my age. He understands what I’ve grown up with. He wasn’t on the same level as me growing up, but it doesn’t mean he didn’t see/hear/read all the same things I saw happening and have views closer to mine than some guy (or woman, wouldn’t that be nice for a change?) who is living values he grew up with forty years before me. I should stop there before this turns into a political piece. Not for today, but one day maybe.

So today, today I’m happy. Don’t make it corny. It’s just a choice I made. You can make it too. Jump on my bus if you like. There’s plenty of room.