So, first of all….hi. It’s been awhile. I think it’s been about two months or so since I sat down to write here. This space I call mine. I just haven’t been motivated to write.

But I’m here now. For a piece on feminism. This. Because after a two hour conversation with the most amazing woman I know. I felt inspired to write.

I’ve read a lot lately (for me), on feminism. It was #internationalwomensday Tuesday. Yes, two days late and probably two bucks short but I’m here now.

I, am a feminist. At least I would like to believe myself one.

I see no point in having any kind of differential between the sexes. I read a comment (I should never do this, I know that, Alicia) about how PM Trudeau named half of his cabinet to be women. The quote was in reference to Trudeau’s simple, precise answer as to why 50% women. This is what was said; “it shouldn’t be it’s 2016, why not?”.”It should be it’s 2016 and it should be the best candidate”. My quote is probably slightly off and I know I should go look for it, but you get the idea and I don’t feel like it. Trudeau made a well thought and for him, a sinple choice to make half of his cabinet women because he wanted his cabinet to reflect his voters. And there are more of them then there are of us guys, so it just makes sense. ANDPLUSALSO, (I stole this “word” from Alicia), who is to say that the women in the cabinet are any less qualified than whatever man may have been there before on instead of.

Anyway.

I am married to the strongest, smartest woman I know. I have three very different and quickly growing girls as daughters. They are all amazing in their own right. I want nothing more than for each of them, all four of them, to reach the pinnacle of what they would like to achieve. And I would like to sit on the sidelines and watch them do it their own damn way.

As her husband and their father, I am just a part of their life. I’m a fan more than anything. To listen to my…no. Wait. To listen to Alicia talk about her daughters and how she would like them to carve their own path. To be able to disagree or not fully support every choice they make, but still be able to say. “Yeah. Ok. Try that.” And be ok with them trying that. Is amazing.

It’s a little harder for me. I’m still sort of stuck in trying to be a protector. A provider. But really, I would love for them to be able to find their way with little more than guidance in their choices, than to have me making them for them.

Yes, they are still very much children, but they are also their own selves. And who that is, they need to decide on thier own. I care (deeply) about everything. But I’m learning to let them grow on thier own. Let them make their own mistakes. Let them revel in their own glory. I consider myself very lucky to not have a son that I want to vicariously live through. Re-live my own youth. Fix my old mistakes. I have daughters. Three of them. And to be honest. I have no clue what I’m doing. But I’m trying really hard to do right by them.

I have to tell myself to step back and let them figure things out. They are strong enough to do this on their own. Make their own mistakes. And be better people for it. Even at their young age. Just because I’m their father, “the man of the house”, it does not mean that I run anything. Or control anything. Alicia and I do this as a team. We always have. From day one. And the proof I have was given to me by my oldest, when in a project for school she wrote that “my mom and dad are equals in everything they do”.  ( I may have misquoted, but that’s the general point.)

That in itself is enough to tell me that I’m doing right by my daughters. That I’m setting them on a path where they can see and believe that men and women are equal and that they should stand up for that in whatever path they choose.  That they can see that there is no difference between their mother and I as members of this family and our roles in it?

For me? That is my greatest accomplishment as a father and a husband.