So I’m back and inspired and I can’t sleep and I’m high, so here is something for you all to slide through and maybe, or maybe not, get something out of.

Someone once asked me, “what’s your type?”. And I thought I knew. I legit thought I had a type of person that I was attracted to. In my head, I thought she was short, probably blonde and, excuse the male in me, had nice tits. (I wanted to use a different term there, but everything else sounded like I was trying to use something that wouldn’t fit. Lol)

But then I realized that all I did was describe physical attributes of someone. And for me? There’s a lot more that makes up who I’m attracted to. Yes, I want a physical attraction. I’m not going to bullshit anyone and say it doesn’t matter to me, because it does. I want a physical attraction to someone. There’s a quote from a the movie called, ‘True Romance’. That says, “Do I look like a beautiful blonde, with big tits and an ass that tastes like vanilla ice cream.”, that I occasionally say when someone asks me what I want. I obviously leave out the, “do i look like” part. But really? That’s not what I look for anyway. I’m not saying that’s not attractive, but it’s not my must have, ‘type.’.

For instance…and I will not use names or correct letters to identify these women, I will just use flowers. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Daisy – What got me was her strength and confidence, and her ability to show me that she didn’t need me around to make her feel comfortable. She was never out of her element, because every element was hers. She allowed vulnerability when it suited her, but I always knew she could handle any situation she was in. With or without me.

The tulip – Has a carefreeness about her. Like a negative thought never passed through her brain. It’s like I want to be a part of it because it feels good. I know she has issues that she’s dealing with, but she has a time and place for them, that I am not a part of. She’s just wading through life at her own speed. I’d like to figure her out.

The Rose – She is definitely thorny. Lol But she has a vulnerability about her that makes me want to hold her in my arms. She is strong and vocal, but soft and sensitive. I am consistently amazed by her frankness. She will not change for you and she shouldn’t have to or want to. I admire her will and strength. Straight up, BAMF.

The sunflower. This woman is genuine. As in I don’t know if she’s ever told a lie. (She probably has. We all do.) She is almost always happy. Even when I know she’s not, she doesn’t let anyone know unless it’s absolutely necessary. She’s pretty amazing in her abilities to listen and make everyone around her feel like they’re the only one in the room. She bleeds, comfort and trust. She’s what you would think of as, ‘home’.

The carnation. – This woman is strong, but struggling. She’s also the most fun, all the time when I’m around her. I know she has shit going on, but when present, she’s got it all together. Even though she thinks she’s falling apart all the time, she just needs to believe in herself and that shit will get better. I don’t doubt that when she’s alone, that doubt,  is exactly how she feels about herself. Partly because I feel it too. It’s like a kindred spirit kind of thing. But because we click so well and things seem easy together, I just feel like we can pull each other out of our shit. Even though neither one of us lives there all the time, we both understand, it’s a real place.

The Orchid – I am just completely fascinated by her. She is like no person I have ever met in my life. I know there are vulnerabilities, but she has overcome so much and taken such control over her life that I wish I had her drive and determination . She just always has me in a moment, I either don’t want to leave, or just can’t. She’s like a drug.

Physically, they are all pretty much very different. So the type I though I had, was a physical ‘type’, but what ai actually have is more of a personality ‘type’. I like women who are strong enough to take care of themselves and not need me, but also willing to be vulnerable and be strong enough to let me be there for them when they need to. Because, yes, I want to feel needed. As one of these ladies has told me, that middle child, all full of emotion and shit…lol…yeah, whatever. I’m an emotional guy. It’s not a bad trait, so I’ll just deal with it. But I do want to fell needed. And wanted to be honest. But whatever. This isn’t about me. Or is it? I don’t know anymore. 😂

It’s always interesting what a little self-reflection will teach you about yourself when you stop to think. Cheers, friends.