Ok. Before you read this next post, understand a couple things…First : I’m allowed to feel sad about shit and write about it. Second : That doesn’t define my mood 100% of the time and asking me if I’m “ok” because I wrote it, doesn’t actually do anything for either of us. But if you actually want to get together and talk about life and it’s ups and downs, we can do that.
Last : Feel it. I love reading, watching and listening to art mostly, because it makes me feel something. That’s all I hope this does for you. Cheers.

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Monsters

Noises in my closet. And shadows on my wall. The monsters under the bed. Were all just in my head.

The fear that crept inside me. The doubts I’ve always had. Weren’t from what they said. But from the monsters in my head.

The sadness and the hatred. That fuelled my anger and despair. Came not from where I was led. But from the monsters in my head.

With a smile on my face. And depression in my heart. I’m wishing I was dead. But it’s just the monsters in my head.

The Critters in the Wall

These thoughts they never leave me. They’re always in my head. Like the critters in your wall. That you later find dead.

They infiltrate my mind. And they just won’t let me go. My brain feels like it’s bleeding. and it’s these thoughts of you I know.

A movie reel of all the good, the happiness we lived and had. Plays into all this sadness. The thoughts of good, turn bad.

I still feel them in there. They’re clawing to get out. They’re gnawing with their teeth. Now they’re scratching at my mouth.

A cough to release them. And then I start to choke. My throat so dry and raw. This life is such a joke.

Grey

As the lines of happiness, drift further away. And all the brightest colours, begin to turn to grey. I feel myself sinking deeper, to a place that’s only black. Wondering if there’s ever a way, that I can find my own way back.

If I Don’t Wake Up Tomorrow

If I don’t wake up tomorrow, will you cry because I’m gone? And if I don’t wake up tomorrow, will you be sad for very long?

If I don’t wake up tomorrow, I won’t be sad for what I miss. And if I don’t wake up tomorrow, It’s still your lips I’d want to kiss

If I don’t wake up tomorrow, will you miss my smiling face? And if I don’t wake up tomorrow, will you think thats it’s a waste?

If I don’t wake up tomorrow, I’ll be ok with the life I had. Because if I don’t wake up tomorrow, I’ll know it wasn’t always bad.

If I don’t wake up tomorrow, how quick will you move on?And if I don’t wake up tomorrow, will you forget where I belong?

If I don’t wake up tomorrow, will I still be questioning why? But if I don’t wake up tomorrow, I won’t have said goodbye.

If I don’t wake up tomorrow, how will you remember me? Because if I don’t I wake up tomorrow, it’s me you’ll never see.

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Yes, they are sadness in words, but I will always find joy and happiness around me. It’s something I’ve always been good at. Fool yourself until it feels real and then it actually becomes real.

Cheers, friends.